I made this film with some local movers and video artists in the summer of 2020, as lockdown was lifted and we could meet again outside. It was a poignant time of unknowns for many of us and our worlds had become smaller as we tried to navigate safety for ourselves and for each other. Nature was holding an invaluable and infinitely larger space of connection for us.
I was not so conscious in the making of the film, and therefore did not speak of this, but I recognise now that it is largely the disembodied white European colonial historical legacy of shame and physical / emotional trauma which has informed modern capitalist culture of disembodiment. Disembodiment has separated ‘white’ people from their humanity and I recognise my own version of this separation. Growing up in this had me living separate from my body senses without even knowing it because my family and social environment did not alert me to this, they reinforced this reality. Returning to my body had me returning to the feelings and senses that I had long forgotten were important. I found a direction towards integrity again by grieving, forgiving, changing my life to align with more human values.
I have recently been engaged in studies of embodied social justice through specific education and somatic practice to feel into my place in the global injustice of white supremacy and environmental degradation. I longed to come home to myself and my body; to know myself and share more authentically with all of my companions on this planet Earth. Deep authenticity means facing hard choices around needs, desires and relationships; choices to be faithful to values and choices to align with life-enhancing values and/or to belong in family and community. I am still on this journey of education and activism, doing my healing one day at a time. I hope to meet you on my journey and hope this film will offer some insight and an invitation in to my bodymind.